I think my brain has made a breakthrough flip-switching. Just in the past few days I have stopped feeling an internal guilt and pressure to practice art. What has replaced that is a genuine desire to practice, to draw, paint and animate. A major source of this change I think is from a simple alteration in the way of thinking about art.
Previously, like said above, there was an internal guilt, as if I was trying to wrestle myself into submission to sit still and practice. Instead I would waste time, dicking around on the internet for hours as I tried to convince myself to work. I had to sit and think about this, it was a real issue. Why did I have such a hard time practicing? I know it is necessary, it is good for me and when I actually sit down to do it I enjoy it greatly. The short answer: I was going about it the wrong way. My approach to practice was too regimented, too strict and rigid. Changing the plan from "work X hours on X number of studies from such-and-such book" to " I am going to get my sketchbook and [whatever book] and draw. I don't care how long, I don't care if it's from the book. I know what I need to practice, and I will start with that, but if I wander, let's wander."
I have to credit a couple people with helping inspire this as well. My wife, her work ethic is amazing. The incredible thing about her is that she loves being lazy. She loves being lazy so much that she will work her ass off to get work done (well) early so she will have more time to be lazy, guilt-free. The other person is a classmate of mine (well, technically he is a year ahead of me, but goes to the same school and pursues the same degree). Just looking at his DeviantArt page [ http://irvingbrew.deviantart.com/ ] and seeing how much work he has put in in the past few years, how much fun he has on paint-chat and doing random doodles... I know that other artists do this, but seeing it from someone that you personally know makes a big difference, makes it seem that much more real. At least, for me it does.
Well, let's hope I can keep this mindset. A breakthrough has been made, let's not rest on my laurels and watch opportunity pass me by.
